There are moments in life that one would rather avoid, like unwashed Tupperware or the smell of wet socks. Two of these horrors are the Monday morning feeling and finding a dead bird in the gutter. They are chemically, emotionally, philosophically, and generally different in ways that merit a subtle, if absurd, comparison. The Monday morning feeling is an internal phenomenon, a chemical cocktail of cortisone surges, decreased dopamine activity, and an excess of caffeine that is rushed through the system against one’s better judgment. The body awakens from the weekend – a temporary illusion of freedom – to an existential hangover. There is a significant increase in the stress hormone cortisol upon awakening, especially on Mondays, leading to an increased sense of malaise. At the same time, serotonin is still catching up, causing motivation to hide behind a psychological couch. The dead bird, on the other hand, is an external phenomenon. Not an internal crisis, but a decomposition in full swing. Biochemically, it is a theatre of decomposition reactions. Enzymes break down cell structures in a process called autolysis, bacteria take over, converting organic matter into ammonia, methane and other fragrant love letters to the nose. Compounds like cadaverine and putrescine – aromatic poetry to the initiated – are created that give the smell of death its iconic character.