In a world where everyone is so worked up about the slightest thing—like a large branch of leaves casually growing out of your ear—it’s important to maintain a little inner peace. Maybe you’re sitting at home right now, sipping tea, while a blackbird inspects nesting material on your left ear. The neighbors are whispering. The doctor has “questions.” But you? You stay calm. Here are 5 tips on how to handle this slightly unusual, photosynthetically active situation with style, flair, and, most importantly, unwavering denial: