Sleeping bag.

Listen up, you miserable idlers! Do you know what this is? This is not just a piece of cloth that you crawl into like a cowardly worm to catch your sleep. This is a symbol of discipline, a testament to order, a reflection of this sacred institution we call the military. It's the sleeping bag, your best friend on the battlefield, and damn it, you'll respect it!

I see you there, with your clumsy fingers, struggling to fold this sacred cocoon as if it were a sheet that you casually throw on your bed. But that is not it! It is a weapon, a tool, an equipment of the soldier. And how do we treat our equipment? We roll it up. We roll it tightly, precisely, without frills or nonsense. That's how we do it here.

How many times have I told you? Rolling is the language of the military, the language of discipline, of precision. It is the rhythm that flows through the veins of this institution, the cadence of our common march. And what do you do? You guys fold like you work in a damn car wash!

I see you scratching your heads, wondering why we can't just fold the sleeping bags. Alright then, let me make this crystal clear for you wimps. We roll up our sleeping bags because it uses space efficiently, it makes it easy to carry, it allows quick access and most of all, it's the damn standard of the military!

I've told you over and over again, but apparently it goes in one ear and out the other. So I'll say it again, for the deaf among you: folding is for toddlers and the elderly, rolling is for soldiers!

And yes, for the smart ones among you, I know there is a new trend to fold the sleeping bags. But I don't give a damn about trends! If I wanted to get promoted by folding sleeping bags, I would have joined the Boy Scouts. But I'm not a boy scout, I'm an army sergeant, and I'll roll up my damn sleeping bag like it's supposed to be!

So grab your sleeping bag, shut up and start rolling. And do it right, or you'll keep doing it until your arms fall off! Is that understood, soldiers?