Weather.

The climate crisis has turned the weather in the Netherlands upside down. Where once we could rely on rhymes like “March stirs its tail” and “April does what it wants,” these proverbs no longer seem applicable to the unpredictable and extreme weather we now experience. But don't worry, we have come up with a new series of weather spells that perfectly match the capricious weather conditions in the Netherlands in 2023! Below you'll find these refreshingly humorous and slightly exaggerated weather spells for each of the twelve months.

1. January: “January swims with sharks, get your snorkel ready for icy bays.”
   Who would have thought that in January we would have to swim to reach the supermarket? Grab your flippers and snorkel, because this month it's time for a refreshing dip in the icy waters of the Netherlands.
2. February: “February brace yourself, for hailstones the size of an app!”
   With hailstones as big as apples, it is not surprising that we mainly stay indoors in February these days. Be sure to wear a helmet if you do go out!
3. March: “March, an unexpected trip, with gusts of wind that destroyed you.”
   The month of March is no longer the tail of winter, but the beginning of a whirlwind of unexpected weather phenomena. Brace yourself for tornadoes and mini tornadoes in this turbulent month.
4. April: “April is screwing us up, with hail, sun and swirling moss.”
   April has always been a whimsical month, but these days the weather is so extreme that you need both sunglasses and a snowplow in one day. And don't forget those allergy pills, because the swirling moss causes serious sneezing!
5. May: "In May, all birds lay an egg, but the crocodile also comes along."
   The breeding season is no longer just for the birds. With rising temperatures, crocodiles are also finding their way to Dutch waters.
6. June: “June, what a splash, floods are making the country wetter.”
   June nowadays brings so much rain that it seems as if the Netherlands is one big pond. Don't forget your boots and inflatable when you go out!
7. Juli: “July makes us hot and sticky, but with an ice cream we are quickly happy.”
   The heat waves in July are so intense these days that we are looking for cooling en masse. Fortunately, an ice cream tastes extra good on a sunny day.
8. August: “August brings tornadoes in the night, so sleep light and keep watch.”
   Anyone who thought that tornadoes only happened in America is wrong. In August it is now important to pay attention, because these whirlwinds can strike in the middle of the night.
9. September: “September, a crazy mess, with penguins and kangaroos in the local swimming pool.”
   Global warming is causing animals from all over the world to appear in the Netherlands. Penguins and kangaroos have discovered the local pool as an ideal hangout, so watch where you swim!
10. October: “October, with flying pumpkins the size of cars on our streets.”
    Due to the extreme weather conditions, the pumpkins in October have grown to enormous proportions. A strong gust of wind causes them to float through the streets like airships. Watch out for flying pumpkins!
11. November: “November brings hail and fire, a month full of extremely bizarre adventure.”
    In November, the weather has become so extreme that it seems as if hail and fireballs are falling from the sky. Always keep a fire extinguisher and storm umbrella handy!
12. December: “December, a Christmas full of unexpected fun, with palm trees and polar bears decorated with Christmas decorations.”
    The Christmas month has now become a true spectacle. Snow has been replaced by sand and palm trees are the new symbol of the holidays. But don't worry, the polar bears have stayed and are joining in the Christmas celebrations.
    

In these times of climate change, the weather in the Netherlands is more unpredictable and extreme than ever. Fortunately, we now have a new series of humorous weather spells to keep us up to date with the latest weather trends. So buckle up, grab your umbrella and snorkel, and get ready for a year full of meteorological surprises!