Somersault.

When an old woman somersaults on a zebra crossing, and time freezes at that precise moment, we find ourselves in a paradoxical predicament. The classical laws of motion lose their meaning, for speed and acceleration disappear as soon as time itself stands still. And yet, there lies a body – fixed in a state of transformation – a living singularity that you, as a walker, can either navigate past or disappear into.

The problem can be formulated as follows:
We have a stationary object (the woman in a somersault position) that has a three-dimensional shape. You are at the starting point of the crosswalk and wish to reach the other side without encountering the time singularity she creates.

1. The Timeless Zone

Around the woman's body is a timeless zone, a kind of field equal in size to the curvature of her roll. You can approximate this size by looking at how far her head hangs above the street and how her feet are positioned relative to her center of gravity. In short: the more stooped she is, the larger the zone where time no longer flows.

2. Optimization of the pass

To step over her, you must choose a path high enough to avoid contact with her body or the time field. Your step is like an arc, a parabola, starting at the ground, moving upward, and landing again. The requirement is that your foot always lands just slightly higher than the highest point of her arched body.

It's therefore important to build in a small safety margin—a breathing space above her contour—but that margin should be kept minimal, so you don't waste unnecessary energy. Stepping too low is dangerous, jumping too high is wasteful.

3. The risk of being sucked in

The danger isn't limited to physical contact. Even approaching too closely can cause you to be swallowed up by the stillness. The closer you get, the greater the chance of this happening. Light also plays a role: the sharper its shadow on the street, the stronger the effect of the time field.

In short: the chance of being swept away decreases the further you stay away from her. So it's not just a matter of height, but also of distance.

4. The practical strategy

1. Determine the size of the timeless zone by estimating the attitude of the somersault.
2. Choose an arc-shaped step which always protrudes slightly above her body.
3. Keep sufficient lateral distance, so that you remain outside the sphere of influence of the standstill.
4. Move without hesitation – because doubt can paradoxically make time flow again, putting you right in the middle of the spin.

5. Conclusion

Overtaking an old woman in a timeless somersault isn't a matter of brute strength, but of precise optimization. You have to calculate the curvature of your step so that you respect her contour without defying it.

This seems like an exercise in futility – but it is precisely here that mathematics reveals its true nature: even in the stillness of time, a carefully calculated movement can save us. Or put another way: the only way to avoid eternity is through the elegance of a well-planned step.